The encoding is not even shit.  It’s horseshit that dogshit shat out.  There’s no typesetting,  the fonts are neon and blinding and horrible, etc.  It was just wall-to-wall fail.  But what really had me reeling was the translation made by someone who, I dunno, took a three-week online course in Japanese and spent the rest of their time learning the language by watching anime with Thai subs. You can imagine the results as I painstakingly detail them below.   Normally, I don’t mind it if people make mistakes with Japanese translations and I encourage people to learn the language because it can be a rewarding experience.  But if you do a horseshit translations just to show us up, then you better know it’s on, buddy.

 Let me be clear, all the translations and analyses are mine and mine alone, with absolutely no input from the guy who’s translating the show, BigRiff.  So if you have any problem or questions with it, you know where to fucking find me.

00:32- 

Line:     こちも作業が楽だから (kochi mo sagyou ga raku dakara)

What it means:     Even here the work is easier.

What she said:     We’re in a pinch here too.

Discussion:          I like her to explain to me where she got “pinch” from “sagyou”and “raku.”

00:50-

Line:   まだ処女？(mada shojo?)

What it means:   Still a virgin?

What she said:     Still a young girl?

Discussion:       Looks like her listening skills needs some work, just like everything else. Oyajima uses the word that has the long “o”, namely “shoujo” while Shirai uses the word with the short “o” (shojo).  So you see the type of mechanism used so people don’t go around always calling young girls “virgins” for no fucking reason.

00:58-

Line:  先保護者から欠席の連絡が (saki hogosha kara kesseki no renraku ga)

What it means: A short while ago a guardian gave a message for an absence

What she said:  We just received a message absence (sic) from one of the parents in Class 1.

Discussion:       Nope, Reiji is NOT her parent. He is her guardian. This fact is well illustrated in Episode 4 of the TV series. Check it out, why won’t you?

01:24-

Line:      学院になったからはいつもみんなを祖先しておかげでクラスも全体も明るく纏まりが (gakuin ni natta kara wa, itsumo minna wo sosen shite okage de kurasu mo zentai mo akaruru matomari ga…)

What it means:   Because she became class representative, she leads everybody and because of that the entire class was consistently cheerful…

What she said:     After she became a class official, she was always socializing with the class, and her classmates were always…

Discussion:          Where does it say she was “socializing” with anyone?

03:25-

Line:   知らない！倒れて当然よ！あのバカ！(Shiranai! Taorete touzen yo! Ano baka!)

What it means:  I don’t care! It’s a matter of course that she collapse! That idiot!

What she said:  How would I know? She could collapse for all I care!

Discussion:       Wrong “shiranai” there, shooter. And “touzen” doesn’t mean “all I care,” and where the fuck is the “baka”?

04:06- 

Line-    先生は逃げない。だから私は先生を信じる (Sensei wa nigenai. Dakara watashi wa, Sensei wo shinjiru.)

What it means:  Sensei doesn’t run. That’s why I believe in him.

What she said:    Sensei won’t run away. That’s why I’ll believe in you.

Discussion:       Well, she had the right idea, if it’s another situation.  But if you remember in the second OVA, she was saying that line to Kuro, which means she was referring to Aoki in the third person.  That’s why it pays to be raving fans of the series like we are. It’s how we maintain continuity.

04:50-

Line:      来い！職員室でお説教だ！(Koi! Shokuinshitsu de osekkyou da)

What it means:  Come here! We’ll have a lecture in the employee room!

What she said:   Come with me, it’s time to have a word in the guidance office.

Discussion:       “Guidance office”?

04:56-

Line:      みんなは自習！教科書八十六八十九ページの問題をやっておくこと！(Minna wa jisshuu! Kyoukasho hachijuu roku hachijuu kyuu peeji no mondai wo yatteoku koto!)

What it means:   Everyone self study! Do problems in pages 86 to 89 in textbooks!

What she said:    Everyone else, do some self-study! Work on pages 86-90 in your textbooks!

Discussion:       Are you fucking kidding me? She can’t even fucking count for chrissakes?

05:11-

Line:      アイツ急に切れるよな！(Aitsu kyuu ni kireru yo na!)

What it means:   That one went crazy suddenly!

What she said:   She sure is stubborn!

Discussion:       Wha… I mean where… Fuggit. Moving on…

04:57-

Line:   何なのよ、童貞?！(Nan na no yo, doutei!)

What it means:  What is it, virgin?!

What she said:   What do you want you jerk!

Discussion:       Okay, of all the translation fails she fails at in this sub, this one gets to me the most.  The whole goddamn reason why the series work rests upon the reason why Aoki always lets Rin bewilder him with her antics.  He may be a lolicon for all we know, but the main nut of it all is the fact Aoki has never been with a woman, and therefore has little to no clue how to handle females, even very young ones.  Otherwise, as an actual adult, he would have had none of the crap Rin was doing from the start.  The fact that she orwells this important part of the story, that the main characters needle at his virginity, due to her failure as a translator is simply unforgivable. Oh yeah, it will get even more ridiculous later on, just watch.

05:54-

Line:      話はそれからだ (Hanashi wa sore kara da)

What it means: The talk will be after that.          

What she said:  That’s all I have to ask.

Discussion:       Hmm, maybe if you take out the “kara” then she might be right for once….

05:56-

Line:      は？寒いだけど、何理解ある教師面してる訳？(Hah? Samui dakedo nani rikai aru kyoushi tsura shiteru wake?)

What it means:  Ha? That was uninteresting. Are you behaving like a teacher that  is understanding?

What she said:   Huh? It’s cold here and what is there for you to understand?

Discussion:       Wrong “samui” and it appears she only translated one word and made up the rest of the sentence. Fucktard.

06:03-

Line-     りんちゃんにだけ頑張らせといて自分は高みの見物だもんね (Rin-chan ni dake gambarasetoite jibun wa takami no kenbutsu damon ne)

What it means: You only made Rin-chan work hard while seeing the sight from on high.

What she said:  While Rin-chan was the only one working hard, all you thought about was your high self!

Discussion:       “Your own high self.” Oh ye gods…

06:19-

Line:      あたし好きなコがいるの (Atashi sukina ko ga iru no)

What it means:  There is a kid that I like.

What she said:  I have a girl I like.

Discussion:       Okay, to be fair, she would be right under normal circumstances. But this goes back to being rabid fans of the series which includes reading and watching virtually all media related to it.  That scene was from the OAD special “Kuro-chan and Shiro-chan” and Kuro was just about to tell her that the “kid” she likes is a girl.  It would kind of spoil the surprise if she revealed the kid was a girl during that line, wouldn’t it? So she receives, I dunno, a double C- for that translation.

06:43-

Line:   汗凄いな (ase sugoi na)

What it means:  There is much sweat.

What she said:    Your fever is still high

Discussion:       “Ase” does not equal “fever.”  That is all.

06:58-

Line:      スウスウして息が楽になるから (suusuu shite iki ga raku ni naru kara)

What it means: Just do “suu-suu” and your breathing will be easier.

What she said:  It’ll help with your breathing a little.

Discussion:       What will help with her breathing? Tell me, you’re the fucking failure of a translator here!

08:21-

Line:      なんて、凄いよく考えただけど (Nante, sugoi yoku kangaeta dakedo)

What it means:  What I mean to say. I have been thinking very much.

What she said:     Though I didn’t think of the circumstances.

Discussion:       Umm…. no.

08:46-

Line:      なんか気が重いな (nanka ki ga omoi na)

What it means:  Somehow, the heart is heavy.

What she said:    Some reason my life feels so heavy

Discussion:       Her life is heavy? What the fuck does that mean for fuck’s sake?

11:56-

Line:      りんちゃんの顔熱い (Rin-chan no kao atsui)

What it means:  Rin-chan’s face is hot.

What she said:    Rin-chan’s face is all red

Discussion:       Where the hell does she translate a word describing a visual stimulus from a word describing a tactile stimulus?

12:30-

Line:      いい新茶が手に入ったんですよ (ii shincha ga te ni haitan desuyo)

What it means:  This is good new tea in my hand.

What she said:   I had an interesting point to tell

Discussion:       Not even going to bother sussing out how the hell she came up with that bullshit.  But it doesn’t even compare to this…

12:32-

Line:      上層部に口外しない用に釘を刺してある (jousoubu ni wa kougai shinai you kugi wo sashite aru)

What it means:   To the upper department, I warned them not to reveal anything.

What she said:    In Confucianism, the imperial court would have punished you.

Discussion:       Okay, like… what? The guy that commissioned the translation should have known something was wrong when he read this line. It

doesn’t make any goddamn lick of sense whatsoever. I think that was definitely a troll.

12:47- 

Line:      新任の頃私を付いたのは三十代半ばの指導教官で (shinin no koro watashi wo tsuita no wa sanjuudai nakaba no shidou kyoukan de)

What it means:   During my first year, a guidance teacher in his mid thirties was with me.

What she said:  During my first year, only half of the thirty people followed me.

Discussion:       Well, at least she somewhat got the thirty part right. Too bad her shitty translation didn’t make any fucking sense.

12:53- 

Line:     嫌な顔もイラつきもせず付きっ切りで親身になった指導してくれた (iya na kao mo iratsuki mo sezu tsukikiri de shinmi ni natta shidou shite kureta)

What it means:  He cordially guided me without showing a displeasured face or annoyance.

What she said:    They didn’t want me to see their unwanted faces. Without being irritated, they kept their attendance.

Discussion:       That “they” again. And what’s this about not seeing their unwanted faces? That’s what she inferred from the few words she actually got right? Does she even know English?

13:04-

Line:      私は教育院長の娘だだからよ (watashi wa kyouikuinchou no musume da dakara yo)

What it means:  It was because I was the daughter of the Chairman of the Board of Education.

What she said:  It was because I was one of the clerk’s daughter.

Discussion:       Clerk? Lool! How could some asswipe clerk have any pull like that? Again does she even know English?

13:08- 

Line:     校長も教頭もみんな同じ (kouchou  mo kyoutou mo minna onaji)

What it means:  The principal, the vice-principal, everyone was the same.

What she said:    Everyone was the same.

Discussion:       What happened to the principal and vice-principal?

13:08-

Line:      すり寄ってくる奴らはみんな父に取り入ろうとしているだけ (suriyotte kuru yatsura wa minna chichi ni toriirou to shiteiru dake)

What it means:  Those people who drew close to me only did it to win father’s favor.

What she said:  Those people’s fathers just took advantage.

Discussion:       Whose people’s fathers?

13:42- 

Line:     すり寄られてますね随分と (suriyoraretemasu ne, zuibun to)

What it means: She is especially drawing close to you.

What she said:  She’s getting quite attached to you.

Discussion:       Okay, it’s not quite as bad as the a lot of her translation fails, but here Oyajima is wryly referring to what Shirai just said about all the suck-ups, which would demand a reuse of the word. If only she got what Shirai said right in the first place…

13:49-

Line:      あのコは他の誰でもない白井紗江が好き何ですね (ano ko wa hoka no daredemo nai Shirai Sae ga suki nan desu ne)

What it means:  That child likes the Shirai Sae that is nobody else.

What she said:    That girl doesn’t like anyone else other than you, Shiraisai (sic).

Discussion:       Ooh! So close.  And Like that spelling of that name.  Do some goddamn research or something.

14:35-

Line: もっと早い？遅い？ (motto hayai? osoi?)

What it means: More younger? Older?

What she said: More old? Younger?

Discussion:       Simple really. She sniffed too much Gorilla Glue to get the order the words right, or she’s just fucking with us.

15:06- 

Line:     あたしとお揃い？ヘアピン見たいに？(Atashi to osoroi? Heapin mitai ni?)

What it means:  So you match with me? Like the hairpins?

What she said:    Will I become gracious? Like a hairpin?

Discussion:       First of all, it’s “hairpins” – plural. She’d know that if she watched the fucking OAD. And second of all, where the FUCK did she get “gracious” from?

15:55- 

Line:     無理に笑わなくていいからね (muri ni warawanakute ii kara ne)

What it means:  Do don’t have to force yourself to smile.

What she said:  …overwork yourself in front of me.

Discussion:       Lolwut?

16:21- 

Line:     おまじゃしました！(oMAjashimashita!)

What it means:  [Mimi messed up “oJAmashimasu” again so any mixed up greeting like “thanks having for me!” will suffice.]

What she said:  S…Sorry for disturbing you.

Discussion:       What.  The. FAWK? She made her say that good bye the right way? And that was after she actually got right the first time Mimi said that word wrong.  Jesus Christ, is there no helping this person?

17:52-

Line:      彼女は僕に掛け替えのない愛情をくれたと言うのに (kanojo wa boku ni kakegaenonai aijou wo kureta to iu no ni)

What it means:  She gave me a priceless love.

What she said:    To me, she was someone I’m betting my love on.

Discussion:       Okay, I think this is one of the few places where I can guess how she got it wrong.  She heard “kakegaenonai” (priceless) as “kakeru” “to bet” and went with that.  Still dumb, though.

17:58-

Line:      なぜそれ以上を望んでしまうだろう？(naze sore ijou wo nozondeshimau darou?)

What it means:  Why do I end up wishing for more than that?

What she said:    Why didn’t she wish for anything further?

Discussion:       1.) He was talking about himself. 2.) I didn’t hear a negative in there, did you?

18:58-

Line:      もしやまざかと思うだけど。。。突然の女からの誘いにあの慌てを。。。きっとまだ。。。(moshiya, mazaka to omou dakedo…totsuzen no onna kara no sasoui ni ano awatte wo… kitto mada)

What it means:  I think the possibility is impossible, but a sudden invitation from a woman and that confusion…

What she said:  I thought maybe…he would accept an invitation from a woman like me. Hopefully…he might…

Discussion:       Sigh.  No grammar skills, can’t connect the dots, etc. etc…

19:11- 

Line:     童貞バンザイ！童貞カンパイ！(doutei banzai! doutei kanpai!)

What it means:  Long live virgins.  Hurray for virgins!

What she said:  Cheers to bank. Cheers to bank!!

Discussion:       River banks- FUCK YEAH!  Yeah, that’s right, she mistook “doutei” (virgin) for “dote [土手]” (river bank). Now I’m more than convinced that this is a troll.

  19:53-

Line:      怒るわよ！アンタの所為で青木に説教されたんだからね！(okoru wa yo! Anta no se de Aoki ni sekkyou saretan dakara ne!)

What it means:  I’m angry. Because of you I was lectured by Aoki.

What she said:    I’ll get angry! Because of you, I was harassed by Aoki.

Discussion:       Kuro looks plenty pissed already, so we can safely treat the word “okoru” as a present tense verb instead of a future tense.  And since when does sekkyou mean “harassed?

 
20:21- 

Line:     また吸わせて？(mata suwasete?)

What it means:  Let me suck again?

What she said:    Let me do it again next time?

Discussion:       Do what?

20:42- 

Line:     もあたしの前で (mo atashi no mae de…)

What it means: Now, in front of me…

What she said:  Don’t  hide from me again.

Discussion:       Yes, I kinda get what she’s trying to do here, adapt between two very different languages.  But her choice of words is strange since it repeats what Mimi said earlier, and she translated that earlier line as “You don’t need to…” (and as we discussed previously she fucked up that line royally.)  Anyways, it’s not “don’t hide from me” it’s “don’t force yourself to smile in front of me.” Read it.  Learn it.  Live it.

21:31- 

 Line:     今日の体育ドッチだよね？ (Kyou no taiiku docchi dayo ne?)

What it says: Today’s gym class is dogdeball, right?

What she said:  Today’s class was equal.

Discussion:       WTF? That doesn’t even make sense in English!

21:34-

Line:      ボール佳いしておくか？(booru yoi shiteoku ka?)

What it means:  Should I prepare the balls?

What she said:    Should I give you a ****?

Discussion:       Okay, clearly she just gave up, if she hadn’t already done so a long time ago.  Wish she could have spared the rest of us and dropped this piece-of-shit epic fail project before she released it.

21:47- 

Line:     何それ、今向きに (Nani sore, ima muki ni-)

What it means:  What is that. Right now I’m serious-

What she said:    What’s with that, being so hesitant?

Discussion:       Not even going to waste my time thinking where she got “hesitant” from.

22:35- 

Line:     九重の背中の向こうで新緑が揺れる (kokonoe no senaka no mukou de shinryoku ga yureru)

What it means:  Facing Kokonoe’s back the leaves were fluttering.

What she said:    Kokonoe’s back has grown so strong.

Discussion:       Hmm, maybe instead of “shinryoku” she heard “tsuyoku”. Or maybe she’s just a  reeeeeallly bad translator.

22:49- 

Line:     何て答えていいのか分からなくなる (nante kotaete ii no ka wakaranaku naru)

What it means:  I was left unable to understand a reply that is good.

What she said:    I wouldn’t really know how to describe it.

Discussion:       It’s “reply” not “describe” fucktard.

22:55-

Line:      あたしの無理しない。そのままはこう言うことだよ (Atashi no muri shinai. Sono mama wa kou iu koto dayo)

What it means:  My not doing too much.  The way I am is this thing as described.

What she said:    I won’t overwork myself. But before that…

Discussion:       Ooookay.  “Sono mama” = “Sono mae” I hope?

Christ that was long dredge through the muck.  I had to replace my hip boots with a Hazmat suit.  She and that partner of hers that commissioned that piece of turd should compensate me for the pain and suffering that it caused.  I don’t know what they were thinking, nor those who actually LIKED that bile-soaked spew of morning sickness, enough to ask for a subfile to add to whatever HD raw they had.  Hopefully that “group – uh, what was that name again? Oookay, “FallenSurreal” – dies an ignominious and anonymous death before they embarass themselves further.

Moving on to another sub that coincidently appeared the same week as the above mentioned waste of precious time I will NEVER get back.  SubsFuckingWhere (SFW), presumably a group made for a woefully neglected series such as KnJ.  I thought to myself, “hmm, never watched one of their subs before, but hopefully we got an actual good group doing this that will finally get these fucking parasite leecher off our backs.” 

Well, to be clear, they are a hell of a lot better than that eye pollution I just reviewed.  But it doesn’t take a lot to surpass a goddamn group that can’t even translate “virgin.”  And, what the hell, they even have all the bells and whistles that a “good” group is supposed to have: slick typesetting, full karaoke (just for the OP, though. The ED can be a little hard to suss out – that is if you are not us, because we, being such shameless fans of the series, actually have that single in our physical possessions.)  and pretty good encoding and QCing.  But sadly, as you can see, the translations don’t match our quality.  Not even close.

00:25- 

Line:     運動会の写真って今CD-Rで配るんですか？(undoukai no shashin tte ima CD-R de kubarun desuka?)

What it means:  The athletic festival photos are distributed by CD-Rs now?

What they said:  The photos from the athletic meet are distributed on CD now?

Discussion:       Athletic festival, athletic meet – same difference.  What I have a problem is “CD”.  Come on, it’s CD-R, not a musical CD.  Aoki said CD-R for a reason.

00:30-

Line:      安上がりですしね。こちも作業が楽だから(yasuagari desushi ne. Kochi mo sagyou ga raku dakara)

What it means:  The cheapness exists, right? Even for me the work is easy.

What they say:  Photos are outdated, right? These are new and easier to handle, after all.

Discussion:       Partial credit for at least getting the “easy” part right.  Where they got “outdated” from, I do not know.

00:45- 

Line:     まだ処女？(mada shojo?)

Discussion:       Okay, they got the shoujo/shojo joke, but by their translation note [Shoujo can mean both young lady and (female) virgin] their reasoning needs work.  No, those two words are NOT homonyms.  Nor are they homophones.  Shoujo (young girl) has the long “o” while shojo (female virgin) has the short “o.” There is a difference and it will go a long way for those trying to speak Japanese to not mistakenly call some girl a virgin when they mean something else entirely.

4:23-   

Line:     逃げない　(nigenai)

What it means:  …won’t run.

What they said: I won’t run away.

Discussion:       Like I said earlier, Kuro was reflecting on (and paraphrasing) what Rin told her at the athletic festival in the bathroom during the second OVA.  And if you remember, Rin didn’t say anything about her running away.  It was only referring to Aoki when she said that “nigenai.” Once again, it pays to be raving fans of the series and keep a long memory of these details.

05:37- 

Line:     止めときなよ！宇佐さんに言ったと意味ねって！(yametokina yo! Usa-san ni itta to imi ne tte!)

What it means:  Stop already! There is no meaning telling that to Usa-san!

What they said: It’s not “um.” If you don’t say anything, there’s no meaning to you being the class rep.

Discussion:       Clearly they didn’t hear the “yametoke” part and thought the kid was just repeating Mimi’s mumblings.  Although I fail to get where they got the rest of the sentence from, especially since the “itta” is neither present tense nor negative.

05:59-

Line:      何理解ある教師面してる訳？(nani rikai aru kyoushi tsura shiteru wake?)

What it means:  Are you looking like a teacher that is understanding?

What they said: Why can’t you see what’s right in front of you?

Discussion:       Come on, “nani rikai aru kyoushi” (something understanding teacher) is the  secondary adjectival phrase describing “tsura” (face), the secondary noun.  “Shiteru (to do)” is the verb. Taken all together “nani rikai aru kyoushi tsura shiteiru” is the primary adjectival clause while the “wake” (circumstance) is the main noun that it describes.  Connect those dots.  See, easy right?           

06:03- 

Line:     りんちゃんにだけ頑張らせといて自分は高みの見物だもんね (Rin-chan ni dake gambarasetoite jibun wa takami no kenbutsu damon ne)

What it means: You only made Rin-chan work hard while seeing the sight from on high.

What they said: You’re just watching indifferently as Rin-chan tries her best, right?

Discussion:       No, when Kuro says “takami no kenbutsu (high-perch sightseeing), “indifferently” is not the correct word to use here.  Sorry.

06:33- 

Line:     一年の時からずっと好き　(ichinen no toki kara zutto suki)

What it means:  I liked this kid since the first grade.

What they said:  I’ve always liked her… ever since first grade.

Discussion:       Like I said before, it pays to be fans of the show.  This scene was from the OAD and the gender of the “kid” Kuro says she likes does not come up until her next line.  Although in other settings they can be technically right, this time they are not.

06:56- 

Line:     スウスウして息が楽になるから (suusuu shite iki ga raku ni naru kara)

What it means: Just breath in and out and your breathing will be easier.

What they said:  It’ll help your breathing, so…

Discussion:       No.  No, no, no.  It’s not just the medicine that will help.  BREATHING IT IN will help.  Vapor Rub won’t work if you don’t fucking breath it in, right?

07:12- 

Line:     乳房が膨らみ始めている (chibusa ga fukurami hajimeteiru)

What it means:  The breasts are starting to swell.

What they said:  Thirteen… this is the first time I’ve noticed those bulges.

Discussion:       Okay, I believe “juusan” is “thirteen” in Elevenspeak. Now, juusan…chibusa…juusan…chibusa…juusan… No, I just don’t hear ANY cocksucking resemblance.  And it’s not “hajimete miru” it’s “hajimeteiru.” In any case, you reviewed that line and concluded that it makes any sort of goddamn sense on this planet we live on? [insert Pickard double-facepalm jpeg here]

09:25- 

Line:     百点取るより百倍幸せ！　(Hyakuten toru yori hyakubai shiawase!)

What it means:  I’m 100 times happier than when I get 100 points!

What they said: I get 100 points, happiness 100 times over!

Discussion:       They’re… right, I guess.  But another benefit you get with us is that we actually speak and communicate in English.

10:20- 

 Line:     プッリンとかアイスとか何でも言って    (purin toka aisu toka, nandemo itte)

What it means:  Pudding or ice cream, say anything.

What they said:  Handouts or ice… just tell me something.

Discussion:       Well, on the “handouts” biff they clearly misplaced the “to” in “toka” in order to get “purinto.”  Understandable, if rookie, mistake.  But come on, everyone knows that the Engrish word “aisu” means  that “iced cream” that seems to be popular amongst today’s youth. And no, don’t go worming your way out of it claiming that she DOES mean “ice” because I doubt she would be saying something like “wataa toka aisu toka” when she can easily just say “mizu toka koori toka.”

10:39- 

Line:     出ないしそんなの!　(denaishi sonna no!)

What it means:  That sort of thing doesn’t come out!

What they said:  N..No! I can’t show them here…

Discussion:       All right, gather around children.  Let me tell you a difference between the words “deru” (出る = to exit)  and “dasu” (出す = to take out)    Yes, I know they use the same character, but believe me, there is a difference. One verb is what we call “intransitive” while the other verb is “transitive” Can you tell me what transitive and intransitive verbs are? Don’t ask the fine folks at SFW because clearly they don’t know. 

11:13- 

Line:     このコがクラスを引っ張ってた何て  (kono ko ga kurasu wo hippatteta nante)

What it means:  This child was leading the class.

What they said:  It’s pulling me in somehow.

Discussion:       Hmm, apparently their minds blocked out “kono ko” and “kurasu” and substituted the noun and the object of the sentence with, uh, a something and a personal first person pronoun they pulled out of their asses, respectively.  Oh yeah, and the verb somehow got transformed from a past tense to a present tense.  Good work there.

12:30-

Line:      いい新茶が手に入ったんですよ (ii shincha ga te ni haitan desuyo)

What it means:  This is good new tea in my hand.

What they said:   I got hold of some good tea.  

Discussion:       It’s not just tea, it’s “new tea”!

12:32-

Line:      上層部には口外しない用釘を刺してある (jousoubu ni wa kougai shinai you kugi wo sashite aru)

What it means:   To the upper department, I warned them not to reveal anything.

What they said: The higher-ups wouldn’t get anything out of telling him.

 Discussion:       Well, unlike those brainless fucks from before, they got the “higher ups” part right.  But not the  “kougai shinai you kugi wo sashite” part. D-plus.

12:53- 

Line:     嫌な顔もイラつきもせず付きっ切りで親身になった指導してくれた (iya na kao mo iratsuki mo sezu tsukikkiri de shinmi ni natta shidou shite kureta)

What it means:  He cordially guided me without showing a displeasured face or annoyance.

What they said:   Even when I was being unpleasant, he wouldn’t get mad. He only showed affection in his guidance to suck up to my father…

Discussion:       Um, nope, the “unpleasant” part applies to the guy, which was part of a seriatim of actions that he DIDN’T do.  And the “suck up to my father part” comes later.  Not in this line.

13:42- 

Line:     すり寄られてますね随分と (suriyoraretemasu ne, zuibun to)

What it means:   She is especially drawing close to you.

What they said:  We’ve really been had…

Discussion:       No, no and a thousand times NO! Like I said in the other failed translation of the line, Oyajima was referring to what Shirai was saying about the suck-ups.  Although SFW got what she said about the suck-ups pretty much right, their poor choice of wording doesn’t allow for her statements to plausibly transfer to Kuro (can’t really say Kuro is “sucking up” to Shiro-chan, can we?)  But where the hell did they get “we’ve been had.”  We should really discuss that over a beer or something. Okay, I get it, they heard “yararetemasu” (to deceive) instead of “suriyoraretemasu” (to get close).  Sorry for not realizing the reason for their fail earlier.

17:52- 

Line:     彼女は僕に掛け替えのない愛情をくれたと言うのに (kanojo wa boku ni kakegaenonai aijou wo kureta to iu no ni)

What it means:  She gave me a priceless love.

What they said:  She gave love to my empty self.

Discussion:       Hmm, maybe they thought they heard the word “akeru” (to empty) in there.

18:54- 

Line:     青木先生なんだか成長しちゃって　(Aoki-sensei nandaka seicho shichatte)         

What it means:  Aoki-sensei, somehow you have grown.

What they said:  Somehow, Aoki-sensei seems so pure.

Discussion:       Hmm, wrong “sei” perhaps? 聖 (pure) instead of 成 (to form)? Although I’ve never heard of “聖長” before.

18:58-

Line:      もしやまざかと思うだけど (moshiya, mazaka to omou dakedo)

What it means:  I think the possibility is impossible,

What they said:  I suppose he can’t be thinking about that, but…

Discussion:       Um, when someone says “to omou” she is ONLY referring to what she is thinking.  The Japanese have this thing where they don’t immediately assume what other people think, feel or desire without proper qualifications.  Look up the “garu” verbal inflection sometime.

 20:21-

Line:     また吸わせて？(mata suwasete?)

What it means:   Let me suck again?

What they said:  Let me touch them again.

Discussion:       Lol! Must be a two-for-one special with this line.  If you watch only this part in both of those subs, you’d probably never know Rin had sucked on overdeveloped loli cow tits.  Oh well, I guess I know where they made their mistake.  “Sawasete” (touch, but the causative “-te” form of “sawaru” is actually conjugated as “sawarasete” but that’s just me being a tight-ass about accuracy and everything ) instead of “suwasete” (suck).

21:47- 

Line:     何それ、今向きに (Nani sore, ima muki ni-)

What it means:  What is that. Right now I’m serious-

What they said:  What’s that about? Such a vague…

Discussion:       No, she didn’t just say “muki” (無機 = vague), she said “muki ni” (向きに) as in “muki ni naru,” or “become serious.”  No, when Aoki keeps saying  firm “no’s,” he is not being vague.  That should be your first clue that something is up.

Wow, so all in all, SubsFuckingWhere made about half the mistakes of FallenSurreal.  But half of a fuckton is still a asston.  So this also officially certifies the actual subtitles of this anime fansub as “FAIL” in just about every sense of the word you can think of. All right, fine, I guess one can maybe retain the basic story out of it; that you’re not left thinking that there are mass naked child events going on in this episode.  But in our minds, accuracy is job one, and clearly both sub groups did not live up to that.

Yes, I know we are super slow in putting out our release.  But we have said repeated that life simply happened unexpectedly.  BigRiff just made the switch from being a poor college student to a struggling salaryman with almost none of the goddamn benefits.  And that includes moving to a new place.  For those of you whiny-ass titty babies that don’t know, you almost have to move heaven and earth in order to move from one location to another.  That’s why Haruhi wanted Koizumi to be in her SOS Brigade because people who move (i. e. transfer students)  are so fucking rare in Kawaiiland.  And that’s if you are a native Japanese, imagine if you are a hated gaijin foreigner devil.   If he is fighting the red tape involved in the seemingly simple task of moving from Point A to Point B, then you know putting in the thankless effort to make a sub for you shitheel pedophiles is not going to make its way to the top of his or anyone else’s to-do list.  Especially if it doesn’t pay the bills.

 I mean, Jesus Christ on a Jackhammer, you have here a professional translator that actually gets paid to do what he does for you drooling, ass-hatted pismires for free.  And you karaoke-loving fuckholes would settle for second best?  And even way less at that?  Wow, all the work we put in, and this is the thanks we get?  Holy God, did we waste our time on you douchenozzles. 

 But despite all that, We’re still working on the release.  Already got the timing and typesetting done, and Riff says he’s working on the TL with the little spare time that he has.  And when we do release it, I hope you raging fuckwits will shove it so far up up your bleeding, spooge-smeared rectums you’ll be tasting computer pixels for weeks.

No, the project isn’t dropped; I’m going to do everything I can to get it done by next week. I have a new visa, so I’m not getting deported or anything, but I still don’t have a new apartment. Finding a place to live in Japan can be a bit of an ordeal, so I’m currently staying at a friend’s apartment until I find my own. Obviously, this has been impeding my attempts to work on the OVA. I’d like to apologize to those of you who posted irate comments about the delay. I’m extremely sorry that I’ve prioritized not being homeless over providing a free service for people I’ve never met. I promise it won’t happen again.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I work for HearJapan, a record label that deals exclusively in Japanese artists. If you like what Jisatsu has been doing, a great way to show your appreciation is to buy something from HearJapan. I highly recommend the new mini album from Tokyo Algorithm - I’ve had it on repeat for the past month.

If you don’t like music, you could always send Kokujin-kun some money. I’m sure he’ll give you his home address if you ask nicely.

01:00: This marks the first of many, many uses of the word 「がんばる」. The general meaning is something along the lines of “do one’s best.” One could base an analysis of Japanese culture on the fact that a specific word exists to describe this concept, but that’s really not a discussion that belongs in my translation notes.

05:31: In this scene, Aoki refers to Houin as 「ボイン先生」. 「ボイン」 carries the approximate meaning of “big breasts.” Obviously, in English, this doesn’t rhyme with “Houin,” so I did my best to come up with a translation in the spirit of the original Japanese pun.

10:45: The effigies shown hanging from the windows in this scene are known as 「てるてる坊主」, or “teru teru bozu.” When hung upside down, they’re supposed to act as a prayer for rain.

12:05: This is yet another linguistic pun. Rin requests a チュー (“kiss”) from Aoki, and he counters with an offer of チューチューアイス, which is a Japanese dessert similar to Freeze Pops.

Edit: Due to circumstances beyond our control, it’s going to be coming a bit later than we had planned – we’re aiming for Tuesday night.

As for our own real lives, yeah we are still around.  Bigriff has recovered from his flu, but he is still busy with classwork (he actually has to give a lecture this week) and studying for the JLPT I, which is why you haven’t heard from us lately.  Don’t worry, we’ll still be working ass over teakettle to release the second OVA in our regular speedy fashion. Believe it.

Over and out.

Update (3/17/09/:  Bigriff is still out with the flu.  Let’s all pray for his speedy recovery.

Well, we had all the dialogues translated, erased all the moonspeak from the manga raws and were halfway through putting in the English (in Comic Sans Serif — lol!) When we realized that the content is a little too kiddie-porn for us to release under WordPress’s terms of service, especially the very revealing scene where Rin lamented she couldn’t give Sensei a good washdown because her “scrub brush” hasn’t grown in yet. 

It is also probably a given that the usual pedophiles have already commissioned Saha to scanlate that special chapter anyways, and we thought it wouldn’t be right to have them waste their money (yeah, pedophiles are people too – barely)  So I’m afraid you are all going to have to deal with it and wait for Saha’s release whenever he gets to it.